1.

..
remember, remember -
a series of rambling.

i had asked my mama to ring me.

i was anxiously waiting to speak with any doctor
since no one had come to check on my papa that day.

my mama did give me a call a few hours later,
just not the call that i had anticipated.

..
i hate crying -
gives me headaches
which make me dysfunctional.

and i had people,
especially a little human being,
depending on me.

but i remember stubborn tears betraying me
for a few seconds,

and i remember abruptly stopping them.

i remember thinking about my siblings...
and i remember the blank look on their faces
as i told them.

..
i remember almost everything from that day.

and i remember trying hard to forget.

i remember feeling everything,

but also only emptiness.

i remember feeling everything,

but also only feeling numb.

..