the good in goodbyes.

..

i bid goodbye to your last kick in my tummy...

to your then massive head

that was too big for your little body,

to your fontanelles...

to your feet and hands at their tiniest.

goodbye to the last time i nursed you to sleep at night,

the last wee hours i woke up to you crying/screaming for boobz,

and the last morning you asked for them upon waking. 

goodbye to our last dance for the last nap you had in my arms...

and to those last cute hiccoughs

from your usually long hiccoughing spells.

goodbye to the last time i had your undivided attention, 

the last time you looked at mama as if i were the most

and only beautiful thing you'd ever seen. 

goodbye to that pleasant baby smell,

that addictive scent like a drug i could never get enough of.  

goodbye to the last time you crawled, 

the last time you toddled,

the last time you held my hand to steady your walk.

goodbye to your last babble

to that language only you and i understood. 

goodbye to that last bruise on my shoulder,

to that last bite mark planted by a teething toddler.

goodbye to the last nappy i ever put on you,

to the last sneaky smile which meant poops you did it again. 

goodbye to the last time i carried you,

placed you in your carrier for our afternoon walk,

how i strangely miss the time my back hurt from it.

oh how sweet those moments were and how terribly fleeting.

and only till they became a memory i realised how time flew. 

i'll always cherish those memories, albeit bittersweetly.

thankfully those phases passed - meaning you are well

and that i get to watch you grow...

so let me bid goodbye to those chapters in both our lives...

goodbye...

goodbye to those short sweet moments

that i never got to say goodbye to. 

..

slow down my love, will you...

..